Not my Romeo
by potter.team-jacob
Summary: Takes place in Eclpise after the newborn attack. Bella starts to have second thoughts. Who will she choose? My first story so rating and reviews are welcomed. I suck at summeries sorry.
1. Chapter 1 GoodBye

**DISCLAIMER: Meyer owns all characters. Not me. And the reference of 'Hot Chick", also not mine**

**Chapter 1 - Good bye**

As I walked to the little red house, I couldn't think of what to say, "Hey Jacob. I'm sorry. I love you, but I'm choosing Edward. Have a nice life!" Yeah Bella. Real nice. God, WHY did it have to be this way? How can I do this? To him. To myself. All those months of spending time in that small garage were some of the best months of my life. I was at home here. I felt safe. But I had to do this. Edward is my life. I can't live without him. This will all be worth it...right?

Before I even figured out what my soon-to-be speech would have been, I found myself in front of the old familiar door with chips of white paint coming off. And before my hand even connected with the wood, I heard a gruff "Come in" from beyond the door. I slowly opened the door and walked into the Black's small living room, which looked even smaller with 6 werewolves crowding the space.

"Hey Bella." Seth. Even though they all knew why I was here, he can still say hello with a smile.

Wait, why am I here? To break my best friend's heart, my sun, my warmth, my hope? To break my heart? No, my heart won't break. It belongs to Edward. _Not all of it_ said a voice in my _head. It belongs to Jacob too._ Did I really want to do this? To say good-bye? To leave my sun behind and live forever as a cold, hard, soulless being in a clouded world? No Edward will make me happy. I want this, right?

"Is he awake?" I said quietly, knowing they heard every word. I avoided their eyes. I was afraid of what I would find there.

"Yeah. He's waiting for you." Sam said in a monotone. I stole a glance up, away from my shoes, to look at his face. I couldn't read his expression. But when I looked to Seth, Quil, Embry, Paul, and Jared, I saw the same thing etched on their face. Betrayal. I felt the tears sting my eyes but I blinked them away.

"Thank you." was all I could say.

I crept slowly down the hall. His door was open slightly. I didn't bother knocking; he was expecting me right? I peeked my head around his door and what I saw caused me to choke on my breath.

Jacob, _My Jacob_, lay in his bed, broken and obviously in pain. It hurt me to see him in pain. _But you caused this. He's hurting over you too. _said that damn voice. I looked up and down his body. Half his chest and one arm were bandaged and in braces. I'm sort of grateful the bed sheet is covering the extent of his injuries. When I looked him over my eyes stopped at his chest. Even bandaged he still had a GORGEOUS chest. And his arms, oh his arms. Huge and muscled. They feel _so_ nice whenever they wrapped around me; strong and warm. And his lips. That beautiful smile he would give me. _My smile_. Looking at his lips reminded of how they felt on mine. Not cold and hard, but soft and warm. I can't even _describe_ how amazing those lips felt. And finally his eyes. Usually so happy and alive were now red and puffy and filled with sorrow.

I realized I stood staring for too long and slowly made my way to his bedside. "Hi." That's it? Really? What is WRONG with me?

"Don't try to be nice Bella. I know why you're here. Just say your good-bye and run back to Eddie," Jake spat out bitterly. Ok. I deserved that. I deserved much worse in fact.

"Jake, please--" I took his unbroken hand and sat down. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry! I wish I could do something. But I'm marrying him. I love him."

He pulled his hand out of my grasp, but before I could grab it back he brought it to my face. I leaned into the warmth and his face softened. "You love me too." It wasn't a question but I answered anyway.

"Yes. But it's not enough," I said in a whisper, but I know he heard me.

"Bella," I loved the way he breathed my name. I looked into his eyes and saw what I always saw when he looked at me: love, desire, adoration, devotion. But I also saw hurt, rejection, betrayal, and I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks.

"Bella. Don't–don't do this. I love you. And you love me too. I love you so much it literally hurts to be away from you. When I am, I can't breathe. When I am with you, I feel untouchable." He pulled me down to lie down next to him. Wiping away my tears, he said "Bella. I am so completely in love with you. I love everything about you. Your smile, your eyes, your smell, your hair, your laugh, and the incredibly adorable way you trip over your feet. Bella, I know you love me too. We belong with each other. Bells, I can make you happy too. That bloodsucker can't give you everything. You don't have to change to be with me. You can stay alive with me and Charlie. We could have a real family."

"Jake, please," I cut him off. This was supposed to be easy. So WHY is it so hard? "Don't make this any harder. I do love you, Jake. I really do. But please I love Edward and I want to marry him." I stood up and grasped the hand that still lingered on my cheek. "We can still be friends?"

"No, we can't Bells. No matter how much I wish we could be, we can't." Jake said, tears falling from his eyes, his face expressionless.

"Wha–Why Jake?!" _No! _Screamed the voice in my head. _I need you in my life! _

"Because it would hurt too much. I wouldn't be able to sit back and watch you be happy with someone else. And besides, you won't be Bella anymore. You'll be something dead and unfamiliar; a stranger."

"So....so...this is g-goodbye? F-for good?" I stuttered out amongst the tears.

"....I guess so." He choked out. I was breaking his heart again.

I turned slowly away from him, my vision blurry from crying. Just before I reached the door, I heard him speak. "I wish I never met you." And at those words, those 6 words, I felt my heart crack. My Jacob, my sun, my savior, wishes he never met me. And it's all my fault. I turned around, utterly bewildered, with more tears falling endlessly.

"I wish I never met you." he repeated. "Then everything would be so much _easier_. For the both of us. We never would have fallen in love with each other. And you could go marry Cullen guilt free. Without having to worry about the fact that you're in love with someone else. And I would have been saved from all the hurt, all the heartbreak." His voice cracked at the end of his sentence and the tears continued to flow down his face to match my own.

"Good-bye Jake"

"Bye Bells.......I love you."

"I love you to Jake." I said through broken sobs.

"But it's not enough. I'm not enough."

I turned, whispered "I'm sorry" and ran from his room. I avoided all of the wolves curious eyes as I ran balling my eyes out to my ancient truck. As I drove away, I felt my heart break. And I drove leaving the pieces behind with my heartbroken, bedridden, werewolf. My Jacob.


	2. Chapter 2 Dreaming of You

**Chapter 2** - Dreaming of You

JPOV

She left. She left me for him. Again. I suddenly felt numb. I couldn't feel the tears I knew were streaming down my face. But just as suddenly as the numbness came, it disappeared. Then wished for it. I would rather be numb then have to experience this pain. It felt like my chest was slashed open and my heart ripped out. It hurt. It physically hurt. It was so unbearable. I was tearing into pieces. I had no future. It crumbled to pieces just like my heart. I turned my face into my pillow and screamed the tears from my eyes. I didn't care if the pack heard me. I didn't care that my ribs and arm were killing me. In fact, I liked that pain. It some what distracted me from the incredible pain in my chest. I don't know how long I cried like that. My eyes flooded with tears, my cheeks and pillow soaked, and my throat aching from my sobs. I felt empty. Like I had nothing left. I clung and clawed at my chest as if I could put the pieces of my shattered heart back together. My body ached and my chest throbbed as I finally let sleep consume me. Alone. Worthless. Empty. Broken.

* * *

_I could feel the wind in my fur and the ground beneath my paws. Blurred images raced in my mind as I flew down to the beach. I phased as soon as I reached the tree line. I threw on my shorts and walked through the cool sand. The sun was setting beyond the edge of the cliff. A breeze lifted my hair and brought a scent to my nose. Strawberries and lavender. With a hint of vanilla. I would know that smell anywhere. Bella. I turned around and there she was. Smiling at me. And my world stood still. I could feel the warmth spread from my heart to the tips of my fingers. God, I loved this girl._

"Jake"_ she whispered as another breeze came by and her beautiful brown hair flowed around her gorgeous face._ _I slowly started to move forward. I loved it when my name crossed those beautiful lips._

"Bells" _I whispered back._ "What are you doing here? You're getting married tomorrow."

"I can't. I don't want to."

"You don't want to marry Edward?!" _I couldn't believe my ears._

_She drew closer to me and put her hands on my bare chest. She looked up to me and I could feel her breath on my skin._

"No Jake. I want to be with you. Only you. I choose you Jake."

_And at those words, she stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling my face to hers. She kissed me gently, sweetly. But when she started to pull away I grabbed her waist and captures her lips with mine. She moaned and wound her fingers in my cropped hair. Our lips moved expertly against each other. Still gently yet passionate. But I wanted more. I slid my tongue along her lower lip and she opened her mouth willingly. I slid my tongue across hers and on the roof of her mouth. She tasted amazing. And her small moans were like music to my ears_._ I let a low growl rumble through my chest as she pulled at my hair again. I moved my lips away from hers only to move down her jaw and to her neck. I let my tongue slip out and taste her skin. Suddenly she grabbed my arms. Thinking she wanted me to stop, I playfully growled and nibbled more on her neck. But then her grip started to her. Wait...it hurt? And her hands were freezing. Her hands always felt cold on my blazing skin. But not like this. They were ice. fucking. cold. I pulled away and opened my eyes. Her skin sparkled. In the dying light, it sparkled! I gasped, horrified, and looked to her eyes. They were a burning crimson and they were fixed on me._

_She growled. A fierce, vicious growl. Her hand went to my throat. Her new found strength crushing my wide pipe. She smiled a menacing grin._

"Good-bye, Jacob." _And at that all I hear is high-pitched, evil laughter and feel her claws pierce my neck as darkness took me over. _


	3. Chapter 3 Trying to Live Without You

**Chapter 3** - Trying to be Without You

JPOV

I startled awake, shaking and drenched in a cold sweat. I tried gasping for air but my ribs were still killing me. It felt like her hand was still around my throat. I greedily sucked in each breath and wiped the sweat from my face. Opening my eyes I saw sunlight flooding my tiny bedroom.

"Jake?" a soft know on my door and my dad's uneasy voice. I know he's worried about me. He probably thinks I'm going to become suicidal. And who knows, maybe I am. "Jake, I made you breakfast." He carefully opened my door and poked his head in. I could see worry, grief, and utter sadness in every line of his aging face. He had a plate filled with a mountain of eggs and what seemed to be a whole package of bacon on his lap.

"I'm not hungry." We both knew that was a lie. I'm always hungry. And of course, like clockwork, my stomach growled loudly. Damn werewolf appetite.

"Jake you have to eat. You can't take the painkillers Dr. Cullen gave you on an empty stomach."

"Maybe I don't need any painkillers." And again, like clockwork, a sharp pain shot through my arm but I bit back a gasp and kept my face straight.

"Jake don't lie. I know you're in pain. Please eat. Carlisle said you need to have a full stomach--"

"I don't fucking care what Dr. Fang said!" I cut him off sharply. "I don't want to eat and I don't want any vicodine or morphine or whatever the hell the fucking bloodsucking doctor prescribed."

"Jake..."

"Dad, please. I know you're trying to help. But I really don't want to talk about it."

"You know it's sometimes good to talk about it."

Talk about what dad?! About hot the entire left side of my body feels like it was trampled? Or about how the love of my life, the ONLY girl I'll ever love, walked out on me, choose her fucking bloodsucking boyfriend, and tore my heart out? Or maybe, maybe you want to talk about how she's marrying the leech in a matter of weeks. And then as soon as she's _Mrs. _Edward Fucking Cullen, they'll kill her! She be just like them! A cold, hard, soulless, bloodsucking monster and my worst enemy. Yeah dad, I really want to talk about it! I really want to talk about the worst thing that could ever happen to me. So please, stop trying to go all Dr. Phil and just leave me alone!" I should have felt bad for going off on him but the throbbing pain in my chest left no room for guilt. Only hurt, desertion, loneliness, and pain

"Ok. Well, just please eat something And here.." He handed me a bottle of pills, "take three. It says two but you'll probably need 3 or 4. Four will knock you out so if you want more sleep take 4."

I grumbled my response and took the plate from him. I didn't really feel like eating. At all. But I did anyway. It probably sounds depressing, but I would rather starve to death then have to live without Bella. I would rather have to die the most horrible, painful, and torturous death then live without her. She's my life. We are supposed to be together. If there weren't such things like vampires and werewolves, we would be together, God, I just wish she would give me a chance, She thinks Cullen can give her anything. But he can't! She can never have a real family. I can make love to her, give her children, give her life, and I can give her forever too. The _real_ forever. A forever where we fall asleep and wake up in each other's arms everyday. A forever where we watch our children grow up and we can take care of our dads. A forever where we age each day, we grow old together, and finally we drift into an everlasting sleep, still in each other's arms.

Immortality isn't a blessing. It's a curse. Bella will be cursed for all eternity. She has to sit at the sidelines and watch everyone she cares about disappear in front of her eyes. She was to watch Charlie, her friends, and her mom age and she has to watch them slowly reach the end of their life. She has to watch her friends get married and have children and grandchildren. So be just like Rosalie; stuck forever in time, pining and begging to bare a child. And me, she has to watch me live the rest of my torturous life, knowing she caused my pain. She has to sit back and pray for the smile that will never again come to my lips. She'll hope for some girl to walk into my life and make me forget her. But she will never realize I can't be happy with everyone else. I will never love another girl. I probably won't even _look_ at another girl. She'll beg for the life to come back into my eyes. She has to sit back and watch everyone die, while she stays young forever. Does she even realize that? I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy! Well, no, Cullen deserves that life. But not Bella. She deserves a real life. A life with me. I just want her to be with me. For once, in my pathetic life, I want something to go right.

* * *

6 day, 14 hours, and 32 minutes.

Bella left me 6 days, 14 hours, and 32 minutes ago.

I'm not bed ridden anymore. Which is food. Really good. When I was, I couldn't keep my thought away from Bella. I never stopped crying. Tears were always streaming down my face and sobs constantly racked my body. And no matter how much I prayed, no _begged_, for sleep to be my escape, it never was. She even haunts my dreams. I wake up every night screaming, just to cry myself back to sleep again. It's been like that every night. Every fucking night. And it's always the same. Either I am forced to relive the darkest day of my life or I wake up still feeling those ice cold hands around my thought and seeing Bella's fierce, crimson eyes.

But now I spend all my time in my garage. Fixing everything. It felt, that it I kept my hands busy and my mind focused on my task, then Bella doesn't torture my every thought. I still cry. I'll be fixing the Rabbit's engine and I'll think of how I worked on Bella's truck. Then memories would come back. Then the sobs and tears come. That's what happens. The tears come and go. But the pain never goes away. Every fucking second the hole where my hearts used to be bleeds and aches. I would be dead by now if I actually bleed. I would have bled out along time ago. That would have been quick. But the way I'm dying now; it's slow and agonizing, I'm slowly dying without Bella. My dad literally forces me to eat but I never actually taste anything. I'm dying of a broken heart. Like a cancer, I'm slowly dying. And I honestly don't know how long I can fight it. I don't know how long I will last.

I swear as soon as Sam gives the O.K. to phase, I'm gone. I can't stay here. Everywhere I go I'm reminded of her and the pain she caused. Phasing is the only way to escape the pain. I'll become my wolf entirely. Wolves don't feel human emotions. I won't have to endure this terrible pain. I won't have to feel. I'll be numb. I'll finally be numb.

Now I know how she felt. Even though Cullen left and broke her, she still loved him. And no matter how much pain she causes me and no matter how much heartbreak she makes me go through, I still love her. I will always love her. Even after her heart stops beating, I will still love her... no matter what.


	4. Chapter 4 Regrets and Homecomings

**Chapter 4** - Regrets and Homecomings

BPOV

6 days, 14 hours, and 32 minutes.

I left Jacob 6 days, 14 hours, and 32 minutes ago.

And not one second goes by that I don't think about what I did to him. I did what Edward did to me. I left him alone and broken. Only Edward didn't leave me for someone else. But Jake, my Jake, I broke him. That night haunts my every thought.

I cried the entire time I drove home. Actually, to be honest, I don't really remember my drive home. All I remember was my tears. Nothing else. When I found myself at my house, I slowly got out of my truck and, in some catatonic state, made myself to my bedroom. It was cold. I knew Edward was there but I didn't look to him. I didn't run into his cool hard embrace. Instead I cried. I slumped onto the floor and let my despair and grief consume me. I didn't hear him cross the room. I just felt a cool breeze and his ice cold hand on mine.

"Bella, love," he started in the velvet voice.

"D–don't!" I said through broken sobs. "Don't touch me! Don't say it'll be okay. Don't say he'll be okay. Just, just go away."

"Bella, darling. I want to help. Come here, love. We can be together no...."

"Edward! Just leave me alone!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. (Charlie wasn't home) I closed my eyes and put my face in my hands. I didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes.

"If that's what you want, love. Of course. I will leave you." He placed his lips gently to my forehead and was gone.

I cried myself to sleep that night. And every night since. Edward stays now. He holds me when I wake up screaming and crying. It hurts him to see me in such pain over jacob. But every night is the same. No matter what Edward does.

And I can't shake the feeling that something has changed. Ever since I left Jake's, I've felt empty. Like I'm missing part of my self.

I began to think. I thought about when Edward would hold me, hoiw I would wish for the warm strong arms instead of these cold hard ones. I thought about how whenever I saw a mother with her child, I longed for that too. And how whenever I'm alone (which isn't very often) I tend to listen to my heart's steady beat and my smooth easy breaths. Lately I've cooked all of my favorite things, and find myself savouring every flavor, like I would never be able to taste it again. And I wasn't. And that terrified me. I will never again taste the sweetest chocolate. I will never again hear my heart beat fast when I'm nervous or slow when I'm calm. I will never be able to listen to my steady breaths. And that scared me.

But what scared me even more is what I was to become. I would never be able to see Charlie or Renee because I would be a blood thirsty monster. And Jake, oh Jake. I will become his enemy. The thing he hates most in the world. And I never would want him to see me after I'm changed. I don't care how much it would hurt me. I can't do that to him. If he were to see me with hungry red eyes, it would break whatever's left of his shattered heart. And I can't break his heart like that agin.

I still cry. During the day I mean. Charlie doesn't know what to do. Even when Edward is here, I cry. Like right now. Edward is here, holding me on the couch. And I'm crying. Not sobbing, but silent tears. I'm thinking. Which usually doesn't happen, my mind is usually blank.

Edward grabs my hand. But I pull away. I cringed away actually. I was shocked. I expected it to be warm Not cold. Why was I craving Jacob's touch? Why do I miss him so damn much it's hurt? I have Edward. My Romeo. And Jacob is Paris. That's how it is Right? Edward is Romeo, the love of my life, and Jacob is Paris, my replacement. No, Juliet didn't care about Paris, but I care about Jake. I love him. So much. But I love my Romeo more. Romeo and Juliet. That's how it is. But then again, I'm not Juliet. I'm not a beautiful princess that meets her 'star-crossed lover' at a ball. I'm a clumsy, dorky, normal girl that met a dazzling vampire that lusts for my blood. No, I'm defiantly not Juliet.

And then, the tears stopped as I realized what that meant. I'm not Juliet. And Edward isn't Romeo! Which means Jacob isn't Paris! I'm not Juliet. She was never incredibly in love with Romeo AND Paris. And Edward isn't Romeo. He never left Juliet alone and broken in the middle of a forest with no explanation. And Jacob isn't Paris. He wasn't Juliet's shoulder to cry on. He didn't hold her together when she fell apart. He was never to one to make her laugh when she didn't even want to smile. And he never would have gave everything he is, just to win over her heart. But that's why Jacob isn't Paris. And that's why I am completely and irreversibly in love with him. But it's not the love I have with Edward. That was the kind of love that one second you don't feel anything and then the next you feel like you were hit by a train when you realize you're in love.

But with Jake, it was slow and natural. Somewhere between our smiles, jokes, bike riding, and stupid little fights, I fell madly in love. But unlike Edward, Jake was willing to catch me. And catch me _whenever_ I fell. He never left. He was always there for me. And being with him was so easy. Natural. Like breathing. Edward reads minds and he NEVER knew what I was thinking, but Jake knows my every thought with just one look. Edward has tried so hard, but he doesn't know anything about me. Jacob knows everything. He knows all that I am. And he loves every bit. And I don't feel like I don't belong. With Edward, I think the only way I can be good enough is if I become a vampire. I don't have to be anything but Bella with Jake. With Jake I ca have a real forever. With Jake, I can stay with Charlie. With Jake, I can have a family.

I thought all I needed to be happy was Edward. But now I have him and I'm still not happy. I realized, I can only be happy with Jake. We belong with each other. I thought I needed Edward to survive, but I did survive without him. With Jake. And I realized that I can live without Edward Cullen, but I can not live without Jacob Black.

And at that thought I smiled. For the first time in 6days, 14 hours, and now 56 minutes, I smiled. I stood up, eliciting a concerned look from Edward

"What's wrong, love? Are you ok?"

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect." I whispered.

"Do you need anything, love?"

"Jake. I need Jake." I turned to see his face. He looked confused. Did he not understand? "I need Jake, Edward. I can't do this." I said as I cradled the little wolf carving on my wrist.

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"I mean I can't marry you. I realized just how much I love Jake. And just how much he's done for me and how little you have. I...I can't do this." By now the tars were flowing. But of joy and relief. " I'm so sorry, Edward." And at that I ran out the door, into my truck, and drove as fast as I could toward La Push, toward the love of my life, toward my Jacob.

* * *

I pulled up to the familiar red house and jumped out of my ancient truck. My heart swelled as I ran across the lawn, as if I was finally home. I bolted through the front door, not bothering to knock.

"Jake?!"

"Bella?" said a gruff voice from the kitchen. My heart fell a little. Not Jacob. Billy. "Bella, what are you doing here?" he said as he wheeled into the living room.

"Jacob. I need to see him." I said breathless.

A huge grin appeared on Billy's face as he realized why I was here. "Uh. . .yeah. He want to the beach."

I smiled at him and turned on my heel to run to my truck. I heard Billy's cheerful laugh as the front door closed.

* * *

When I arrived on the beach I ran across the sand, to our tree, searching for him. But he was nowhere to be seen. Finally I saw a russet figure sitting by the edge of a nearby cliff. My heart sunk slightly, it was the cliff I jumped off so long ago.

I ran as fast as I could toward the cliff, tripping and stumbling too many times to count. And finally I stood a few feet behind him.

"Jake." I managed to say through my heaving breathing. I knew he knew I was here. He probably heard me running up the cliff. Hell, he probably smelled me when I got out of my truck. But I just wanted to say his name. His muscles tense even more when he heard me call him, he of course wasn't wearing a shirt. And in the dying sunlight, his russet skin glowed. _He's so gorgeous_ I thought. I watched his massive frame stand up and slowly, very slowly, he turned to me, almost as if he was scared. I felt a sharp pain in my chest when I saw his face. His eyes were red and puffy and he had tears tracks down his beautiful face. His jaw was hard and set. His eyes were cold but I could see heartbreak, fear, and betrayal there too. His pain was my pain. I was now feeling his hurt. I can't stand seeing him like this.

"What are you doing here?" He said, his voice rough and hard.

"Jake...I'm sorry. For what I've done to you..."

"Do you even know how many times you've said that to me? And not ONCE has it made this any easier. And you didn't answer my question. Why are you here? Did you just want to see me one more time before you become one of _them_?" he spat out. "Are you here to tell me one last time that you love me but don't choose me? Well Bella, I don't think I can handle hearing that again." And then he took one step backward, toward the edge.

"Jake! No! Come here! Please." I begged. But his face was set and he took another step back no inches from the edge.

"Jake please. Get away from the edge. I'm begging you Jake."

"Why? Why should I, Bells? Just one more step back and I'll be out of your way. You won't have to worry about me interfering with your perfect life." And he lifted his foot, ready to take that last step.

"Please, Jake. I was wrong! I've been thinking. And, Jake, it's you! It's always been you!" And he stopped, foot still raised. He looked scared again,

"After Edward left, I was empty. But Jake, you made me feel _alive_. And I was stupid then. I thought all I needed to be happy was Edward. But when he came back I still wasn't happy because I didn't have you Jake. And the past 6 day have been nothing but hell. I want to be with you. I choose you Jake."

He still looked scared. I don't know why though. Did he think I was kidding? And to confirm my suspicions, he muttered "Prove it."

I looked around. How do he expect me to prove it? And just then, just as the sun sank below the horizon, the dying light glinted off my engagement ring. I looked at it and smiled. I slowly slid it off my finger. I looked at Jacob and he know looked confused. I took one last look at the ring and tossed it over the edge; letting it fall into the roaring water below. Jake stood staring at the spot where the ring flew over the edge. His face went from confused to utter shock. And I saw a smile beginning to form as he realized what I had just done.

"I regret every second, how much I've hurt you. But I realized that, Jake, I am madly, truly, deeply, irreversibly, and completely head-over-heels in love with you. And I realized that a life without you, even an immortal life, is empty. I love you Jacob Black. I want to spend forever with you. I want to fall asleep and wake up in your arms. I want to make love to you. I want to watch our children grow up. I want to grow old with you. And Jake I want to die with you. I belong with you, no one else but you."

I looked at his face as he took in my words. Tears were falling down his russet skin and he smiled that big Jacob smile, my smile. His perfect teeth gleamed in contrast to his dark skin. "Bells," he whispered, "you have no idea...how long I've waited to hear you say that!"

The next thing I know, warm, strong arms wrap around me and I'm lifted up into the air. Time seemed to have stopped. I simply took in this moment. I took in the warmth of his skin. The feel of his muscled chest and arms against me. The smell of him, pine and musky, like the forest. I didn't even realize I was crying too. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. And we stayed like that, just holding each other. My face buried in his neck and his in my shoulder.

He finally pulled his face away and he looked into my eyes. "Bella. I love you. So much that is hurts to be away from you. You are the only girl that can ever make me feel the way I do. You are the only girl that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. I love you so much, Bella Swan."

And then he kissed me. It wasn't rough and fast. It was slow, passionate, ans sweet. If he wasn't holding me as tight as he was, I would have fallen to the ground. Just like before, the kiss was so different from what I was used to, not cold and hard, soft and warm. I felt his tongue run along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth all to willingly. As he explored my mouth I explored his. I was overwhelmed by the taste and smell of him. I didn't want this to end, but I needed air.

As if reading my mind he slowed our kiss. And before he pulled away he planted a few sweet kisses on my lips. He set his forehead against mine and looked me in the eyes.

"I love you, Bells"

"I love you too, Jake."

And finally, after what seemed like forever, I was whole. I didn't feel like I was missing something. There was no hole in my chest, it was gone. I felt like I was home. Home, here in my Jacob's arms.

**AN: I'm thinking about doing a bonus chapter. It would be the whole "I choose you" thing but from Jacob's POV. so tell me if u think thats a good idea.**


	5. Chapter 5 Bonus

**AN: I am soooooo sorry! I've been wanting to put this up for a while but I have soccer practically every day. The is the bonus chapter io promised. Sorry for the delay! :'(**

**Italics are Jacob's memories.**

**Chapter 5:** Bonus

JPOV

I could feel the wind in my fur and the ground beneath my paws. Blurred images raced in my mind as I ran down to the beach. I phased as soon as I reached the tree line. I threw on my shorts and walked through the cool sand. I walked up to a cliff, the sun setting just beyond the edge. As I looked at my surrounding, memories flashed in my head. _-Panic filled my heart. The redheaded leech escaped again. She jumped into the water. Only one thought crossed my mind. Bella._- I turned away from the sky to look at the forest behind me. -_"she spends so much time at the beach." I followed her scent through the woods. She isn't on the beach. She's at the cliff._- I stood staring through the dense branches. Eventually I turned toward and walked toward the edge. -_I came bursting through the trees. I had heard her scream. All I could think of that I was too late. I ran to the edge and looked over. Nothing. I only saw the waves crashing violently against the rocky cliff. Then suddenly she came above the water's surface. Then, just as suddenly, she sank beneath. She didn't come back up . . . she was drowning._-

I blinked back the tears that came to my eyes. I almost lost her that day. She jumped of a cliff. _This_ cliff. I sat at the edge, my feet dangling off the edge. I don't see the harm if I were to do the same thing. Jump. But my motive would be different. She wanted to hear _his_ voice. I would jump to end it. But no matter how much I wanted to jump, no matter how much I want to escape the pain Bella caused, I can't do it. I couldn't do that to Billy or my sisters. I couldn't do that to the pack. To Charlie. Or to Bella. The guilt would kill her too. Knowing she caused a pain so great that the only way I could escape it was to kill myself. No. I wouldn't be able to do that. Not to her. She may have hurt me, but I still love her.

A breeze lifted my hair and brought a scent to my nose. Strawberries and lavender. With a hint of vanilla. I would know that smell anywhere. Bella. I turned around, expecting her to be behind me. But all I saw was the trees. Ok. This is weird. Is the nightmare that has woken me up every night coming a reality? Am I going to find Bella already turned? I brought my hand up to massage my neck. I could almost feel my throat constricting. I can hear someone coming up the cliff. It has to be her. My heart started to race. I faced the ocean again and closed my eyes. I need to relax. She isn't a vampire. I would have smelled that right away.

Her breathing grew louder and I heard her footsteps come to a stop.

"Jake." She gasped through heavy breaths. I tensed. My heart skipped a beat and my breath caught in my throat. God, what the fuck is wrong with me? After all she's put me through, she just has to breathe my name and I go crazy. I took a slow breath in and rose to my feet. And I slowly turned to face the girl that is carefully crafting my demise. Im scared to be honest. I'm scared of what she'll say. I'm scared she'll make the wounds bigger. She's killing me, destroying me. I felt a hint of satisfaction when she looked at me. I saw her wince at the pain she caused. I know I look like shit right now. My eyes are probably red and bloodshot. I bet she can see the pain there too. And the anger.

"What are you doing here?" I spat out roughly.

"Jake . . . I'm sorry. For what I've done to you..."

"Do you even know how many times you've said that to me? And not ONCE has it made this any easier." I said through clenched teeth. I paused struck with an idea. If she doesn't want me in her life, then I'll end mine. Right here. Right now.

All the guilt left me at this thought. Just once she deserved to get a taste of her own medicine. Her guilt for my pain. That's fair. "And you didn't answer my question. Why are you here? Did you just want to see me one more time before you become one of _them_? Are you here to tell me one last time that you love me but don't choose me? Well Bella, I don't think I can handle hearing that again." And at that I took one step backward toward to edge of the cliff. I got another feeling of satisfaction as I watched her shocked face.

"Jake! No! Come here! Please." I ignored her. I was now determined. So, I took another step back, now inches from the edge.

"Jake please. Get away from the edge. I'm begging you Jake."

"Why? Why should I, Bells? Just one more step back and I'll be out of your way. You won't have to worry about me interfering with your perfect life." And I lifted my foot, ready to take another step.

"Please, Jake. I was wrong! I've been thinking. And, Jake, it's you! It's always been you!"

And I stopped. My heart started to race. I was panicking. I was afraid that if I were to blink her skin will sparkle and her eyes will burn a deep crimson. Fucking chill. That was a dream. Not real.

"After Edward left, I was empty. But Jake, you made me feel _alive_. And I was stupid then. I thought all I needed to be happy was Edward. But when he came back I still wasn't happy because I didn't have you Jake. And the past 6 days have been nothing but hell. I want to be with you. I choose you Jake."

Shit. No, this can't be true. Holy fuck! No, no, no, no. I'm crazy, im hearing things. I managed to grasp to last bit of my sanity and said "Prove it." I had to know she was serious. I had to know this was real.

Her eyes scanned around her and landed on her hand. Her engagement ring glinted in the dying light. She took it off and did what I thought I would never see. She threw it over the cliff. I turned my head to watch it fall into the waters below. I felt my jaw drop. And slowly, oh so slowly, the first smile in 6 days, 15 hours, and 27 minutes formed on my lips.

"I regret every second, how much I've hurt you. But I realized that, Jake, I am madly, truly, deeply, irreversibly, and completely head-over-heels in love with you. And I realized that a life without you, even an immortal life, is empty. I love you Jacob Black. I want to spend forever with you. I want to fall asleep and wake up in your arms. I want to make love to you. I want to watch our children grow up. I want to grow old with you. And Jake I want to die with you. I belong with you, no one else but you."

I turned back to look at her. My heart soared. She loves me. She's choosing me. This is real. I could feel the tears pour over and fall down my face. "Bells," I whispered. "You have no idea . . . how long I've waited to hear you say that!"

And I ran to her. I enveloped her in my arms. I buried my face in her shoulder and took in her smell. God I loved this girl! She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I don't know how long we stayed like that. But, quite frankly, I don't really care. I was just glad to have her in my arms.

I finally drew my face away from her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "Bella. I love you. So much that is hurts to be away from you. You are the only girl that can ever make me feel the way I do. You are the only girl that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. I love you so much, Bella Swan."

Then I kissed her. Slowly and passionately. My head spun and my heart leaped. It was just our first kiss. Well our second, technically. But our first real kiss. Absolutely perfect I slid my tongue along her bottom lip and she opened her mouth. I carefully explored her mouth as she explored mine. She tasted so fucking good. It was unbelievable. I knew we both need air so I pulled away, no matter how much I didn't want to. I left a few short, slow kisses on her lips and rested my forehead against hers. I looked her in the eyes and whispered the words she finally said back.

"I love you, Bells."

"I love you too, Jake."

Finally. I finally felt complete. With Bella in my arms and her heart in my hands. Her telling me she loves me makes me the happiest man that ever walked this planet. Something finally went right. I finally got what I wanted. The love of my life. The reason for my existence. _My_ Bella.

**The end. YAAAAYYYY! Review por favor. (Pleeeeaaasssee)**


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